the GODZ
I think Buk’s gods
are smiling on me
right now
two job offers in one week
getting rid of
a spoiled vindictive
red-haired bitch
a coming to terms
with a spouse
for final separation
& still maintaining
a cordial relationship
working on a seventies
muscle car
from the ground up
able to go long periods
without weed
still getting it up
after 56 years
keeping the weight off
women catching my eye
& me catching theirs
being able to cook
decent food
making a living
making my friends laugh
& making them cry
having friends
having parents
having kids
who still love me
but unlike Buk
I don’t have a racetrack
to burn money at
or women to kick
off the sofa
cats to caress
or fruit in the backyard
to pick & thankfully
I’m not six feet under
just yet
father’s day, 2002
if I could be
half the man
my dad is
then this life
I’m saddled with
will be worth it
maybe just 30%
would be enough
I marvel at his
ingenuity & artistic flair
in which he does
everything in life
never afraid
it seems to me
to do or say
what is on his mind
but it is foolish
to not be afraid
maybe just 20%
would be enough
his patience when mom
calls him names
or sweet-talks him
into getting
what she wants
remembering when
they were just starting out
making furniture
from orange crates
a succession of used cars
apartments with gaudy
wallpaper
thick as a wrist
maybe just 10%
would be enough
as when he lost
his long time job
felt worthless for weeks
only to bounce back
& go on knowing
he had to
& was better for it
he isn’t god
doesn’t walk on water
has his short-comings
( none of which
I can think of)
maybe a violent temper
at times because
of his passionate
view of life
and convictions
maybe just 1%
would be enough
as I grow older
I see more of him
in me
it took me 30 years
to tell him
I loved him
& now in the closing
of both our lives
I tell him
I love him
each time
I see him
because
I’m not afraid anymore
of living
& proud
to be
his son
ode to my cock
I’m sittin here
in a tub
of hot water
after a long day
on my feet
I’m looking down
at my cock
a skinny
foreskinned
little thing
shorn of hair
& getting softer
as the years
go by
I have a couple
of beers on the floor
cigs & ashtray
on the toilet seat
tunes drowning out
the overhead fan
it’s nice sitting here
soaking
I used to hate baths
sitting in your own
filth
but the soreness
cannot be ignored
this lump of muscle
between my legs
has caused me
so much joy
& pain
these last 10 years
& yet I can’t help
but think it was worth it
my Golden Rule
is to please
the woman first
then yourself
sure
some have complained
about its length
but all have called
again asking to go
to that place
no one can describe
that place that leaves
you drained & sated
I still hate it
but wouldn’t cut it
for anyone
even god had
a foreskin
I apologize to all
those women who had
it in them :
it was the best I could do
& why did you call
in the first place?
I don’t know
what to call it :
dick
cock
prick
penis
prong
whang
whatever
give me a call sometime
when you are in town
& we’ll talk
about the
first thing
that cums up
cloning is a good thing
I feel
800 years old
today
even my shadow
drags on the ground
trying to keep up
saying fuck it
& falls down
even my boots
hide in the corner
not wanting to
be put on
needing a retread
like my soul
I want to
saw off various
parts & replace
them with Factory
Certified Spares
but mom wont
allow it –
she’s had enough
kids for now
I can feel
bone grating
on bone
in my knees
& I’ve got
Sweepers Elbow
from doing the
floors of the foundry
so much
it would be nice
to reach into
a closet for an
arm
or leg
or hip joint
even new hair
but I don’t
want to stay
on this planet
forever
I’m too afraid
of the treatment
senior citizens get
& mushy food
I just want
to be a meteor
flashing
against the sky
check out when
I can’t get it up
anymore
or drive my truck
Methuselah must have
felt bored
being here so long
each day trying
to come up with
something new to say
each morning a yawn
the sun comes up
the sun goes down
but it would be nice
to replace those things
I need right now
like teeth
hair
length
I’d even donate
some sperm right now
to get this project
started
if I only had
the strength
& a willing participant
to help me get in bed
constipation blues
ain’t it funny
how you never see
people going to
the bathroom
in the movies
or on TV?
maybe one or
two a decade
because it must be
taboo in Hollywood
along with male
genitalia
as if people out
there were above
that shit
oh sure
The Godfather
comes to mind
& a couple others
but it is forbidden
to acknowledge
this sort of thing
I don’t want to see
the act being
accomplished
(butthole shots
of women squatting
in a privy)
just something
suggestive
to the tune of
Screaming Jay Hawkins
doing “Constipation Blues”
or Arnold S. writing
his name in the snow
I wonder if C. Heston
stopped on the way
up the mountain
to spray
a burning bush?
or if Sly Stallone
finally figured out
how the use that
clamshell device
in that movie
with Sandra Bullock?
or Capt. Picard
while giving us
a guided tour of the head
on the Enterprise
had the urge?
so many taboos
in today’s society
ignoring the daily
functions of living
yes it’s a private thing
I knew a woman once
who left the door open
when pissing
it was natural to her
& I saw that thing
up close & loved it
I get a little embarrassed
leaving a stink behind
for someone else to smell
& I admit I’m not thrilled
to smell someone else
but I understand
but did you ever
stop & wonder
how can someone
go that long without
hitting the can?
bladders the size of NY
kidneys a mile long
dry as the Sahara
& just as useless
time was
time was
when she wanted
my silly little
thing in her
searching the cervix
for just the right spot
time was
when with a little
grass in her
& some necking
she would put
on some old hat rock band
(which we couldn’t
hear anyway)
go upstairs
undress in total
darkness & stumble
into her unmade bed
crusty with cum
her dog under the bed
listening & hoping to lick
up the sheets afterwards
time was
when I cared enough
to do anything
she asked just to show
her she mattered to me
not accepting her belief
that it’s just sex
& who she
was thinking about
when I fucked her
didn’t matter
time was
when it was just
fucking to her
& making love to me
time was
& isn’t anymore
until next time
whenever that is
or isn’t
because it
doesn’t matter
or didn’t matter
when you are
not the one
just the one
of many or none
however you
look at it
in the dark
or light
when time was
or wasn’t
depending on how
you view it
time is funny
that way
it never listens
especially in
the dark when
the images are
brilliant in your
head or heads
& morning comes
or goes
depending on
how you look
at it or don’t
in which case
it didn’t
until now
I suppose
